My Complacency {}

My Complacency

May 23rd, 2017

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17 NLT). I have another confession for you. (Why…

Taming Trauma :: a guest post at Cisneros Cafe {}

Taming Trauma :: A Guest Post @ Cisneros Cafe

May 21st, 2017

Trauma is a tricky beast, always festering and feeding, hoping to eat you alive from the inside out. You survive it, accept it, and hopefully thrive in spite of it. But you are never rid of it. It lingers like the scars it inflicts.

By eighteen years of age, I experienced seven different types of childhood trauma. I handled my trauma by pretending it wasn’t there. As each new trauma visited, I ripped off that piece and hid it away.




Eventually, all seven traumas were sealed away and buried deep inside.

But trauma chafes and enflames. Although I quarantined my infected parts, they still rotted. The stench permeated my good parts, spoiling them, too. I kept hacking and concealing, but I couldn’t keep up.

God Is Not My Stepdad {}

God Is Not My Stepdad

May 16th, 2017

I responded God the same way I responded to my stepdad. Here was this “father figure” with astronomically high standards trying to change my whole life and tell me what to do. I felt like everyone was telling me to love Him because of all the great things He did, not because of who He was. I believe most people were like my mom; they listed his actions as evidence of who He is. But some only loved God for what He did. That isn’t love. That is obligation.

My Faulty Understanding {}

My Faulty Understanding

May 2nd, 2017

I enjoy listening to the app while I prepare breakfast. It has a two-fold benefit. First, and most obvious, I am in the Word. Second, the kids listen, too. It keeps morning squabbles at bay while filling them with the Word, too. Last week, we were proceeding with our morning routine as usual. Clothes were being changed, teeth were being brushed, and coffee was being…

The Difficult Season {}

The Difficult Season

Apr 25th, 2017

Tonight, as I go through tomorrow’s to-do list, a whisper keeps subtle cadence for the more prominent thoughts. Three weeks left. Just three more weeks. It repeats even when I don’t want it to, even when I don’t notice. Three weeks left. Just three more weeks.

When I wake up tomorrow, I know it will be the first thought to skitter across my synapses. I will push it to the back of my brain, hoping to bury it under more pressing concerns, like prayer, thanksgiving, and caffeine. But I know as the children wake and start demanding food and attention, I will call it to the frontlines. We can do this. There are only three weeks left. Just three more weeks.

Seeking Truth Instead of Proof: Taking Anxious Thoughts Captive {}

Seeking Truth Instead of Proof: Taking Anxious Thoughts Captive

Feb 7th, 2017

Anxiety is the side effect of my upbringing. It causes me to flip every coin to see the downside. I study the negative. I abide in the cynical. I wait patiently for the other shoe to drop. I jump on a rat wheel of whys and what ifs and run until I derail. For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after…

Dear God, Did I Shave My Legs for This? {}

Dear God, Did I Shave My Legs For This?

Jan 31st, 2017

But when did those promises become expectations? And when did I get to confine them within human parameters? All I did was take God out of a small box and put him in a bigger one. Changing the dimensions of the box didn’t change my heart.

When I tie expectations to my acts of faith or good works, is it still faith? Or is it only seeking reward? Do I genuinely want God’s will in my life or do I want man’s affirmation in the form of big numbers? Will I faithfully write the things God lays upon my heart if only one person reads it? (my grandma?)